Past selves, afternoon beers and epic failures.

I think I'm still holding myself up to the standards that my sixteen year-old self set. The self that didn't understand how awesome a beer on the front steps in the middle of the afternoon can really be, or the luxury of not needing to own a pair of heels at 27, and especially not the joy of letting work take only 40 hours of my thoughts a week. If that. She was awesome, and I owe her everything, but that girl was guided solely by the hopes of everyone else and the knowledge of her own potential. I may not have learned all that much since I figured out how to drive a car without injuring myself and others, but there is one thing that I have realized, if painfully gradually. Having potential is a broader and less important thing than everyone seems to think. The ability to be good at, or as or with something doesn't mean any of it's needed to be good at life. If it comes down to being really good at one thing and investing all of myself into being It at the expense of all the small joys and even epic failures that make life really Life, it just doesn't seem worth it. Focusing on a single promising ability limits the possibility of finding out about so many lesser ones. Ones that might not make me any money or gain me any notice but could potentially be exponentially more rewarding. 

There is a part of me that still chides myself for not going to law school or pursuing a career in government. But she barely knows how to drive, and I'm hoping that if I show her all of the awesomeness that is out there to see and experience without heels and 70 hour work weeks and a rush to go and get and be, she'll eventually come around. 

She's a pretty smart girl.